Empty Air

I reach for you
But you’re not there;
All I feel is empty air
To twist and turn
Within my fist,
Between my fingers,
Around my wrist.
I call your name
But you can’t hear;
This vacuum space
Corrupts the ear,
Smothering,
Suppressing sound;
There’s only silence
All around.

Once upon a time I tried
To cut the ropes,
Your bonds,
But you would have
None of my help;
I left you
And moved on.

I miss your eyes,
The light I saw
Before you let it die;
I sit alone
In memories
Of you and wonder why.

I look for you
But you have gone;
Disappeared
Into the mist
Of mornings, moons,
And drowsy days
When mine would meet
Your lips

To start a chain reaction
That ends when skin meets skin
And all the things
I thought I loved
Would smolder
From within.

I see the way
That we could be
A fire for eternity
To blaze and burn
The world down
And last for years
Devour and drown;
But I see the way
We truly are
A black hole,
Supernova star
Still alive
Just from afar.

I look for you
But you’re not there;
All I see is empty air.

Refresh

Sweet water wash away these sins of mine
With crystal drops as clear as morning dew
Release my sorrows, make my world divine
Bring into me a hero strong and true

With oil paints and soft pastels and brush
Reveal my secret world on canvas white
So lovely Mona Lisa shows pink blush
When packed away in dark confines of night

Next, play some notes with which I'll write a song
So sad and low no optimist shall smile
The lyrics will I sing when all goes wrong
To take me from the chaos for a while

If all my methods fade and fall apart
Let it be known no other holds my heart

Cure for the Common Life

will you be my
impassioned high,
brush away
the tears i cry,
adore me 'til
the day i die
with delicious intensity

induce the age
with logic true,
in quiet ecstacy undo
the self i am
to begin anew;
god, i want
to see you

when all of man's
consumed by hate
and light this does
dare desecrate,
with golden hearts
we'll relocate;
be my cure
for the
common life

Grayscale

sever ties with me
and break away
let freedom reign
for one more day
the ropes are cut
regrets are many
though i will not
admit to any

reside in me
a light untrue
incandescently
it shines toward you
a gold facade
of happiness
a secret soul
in great distress

i won't worry you
with petty fears
for i fear not,
have not in years
except that you
would leave, be gone
to drown in life
blindly move on

as colors fade
they turn to black
sanity gone
it won't come back
build up the pain
which you did ease
lost in myself

...carressing memories...

Nice Eyes

nice eyes.
he has nice eyes.
but not in the way
you'd usually think.
not eyes of an exotic color,
although they are bright blue.
whatever makes them special…
i don't think I can specify.
just nice. nice.
genuinely friendly. sincere.
a good person lies
behind those blue eyes.
and a smile to match…
and cute curly brown hair…
too old for me, though.
felicia says he's probably
twenty-eight.
and i'm no Lolita;
he's no HH.
but he has nice eyes.
i'll bet they'll stay nice
even when everything else
fades.
i hope someday I meet
and keep
someone with eyes like that.

On My Own Terms

let senses dance over my skin
by you i'll not be taken in
but feel the light and life go dim
as sickened cynicisms swim
drown me in soft sorrows deep
perhaps i'll let tomorrow keep
the last long love that might have been

by you i'll not be taken in

Turn Me Cliche

It was a sign of how much I loved you. My heart contracting, trapped in the deathly-grasp of an invisible fist; my breath, thrown against the inside of my chest, caught and held in my lungs like a prisoner of war; my stomach floating and turning, crawling inside of me every time I saw you, every time my eyes beheld you, meeting your face… your eyes… your smile… It was a sign of how blind I was. Your imperfections were unimportant. Not only that, they were nonexistent. Everything about you was beautiful. I accepted you; adored you; wanted you with every part of me. You fascinated me: you were so much more than what other people thought, what they saw. You were different. I wanted you to love me; I wanted so much for you to love me, to hold me, to be with me always. But I realize this is impossible. I still love you—of course I still love you. You know this, and I hope you’ll forgive me when I say that I will always love you. You were everything to me, and if given the opportunity, I am sure you would be everything once again, but, as for now, it has never appeared more obvious to me that you don’t believe I should be yours. It isn’t easy for me. This is the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to articulate: I feel my mind working so hard to produce words that fit, words that flow… and even so, I fear they appear in a jumbled mess. I love you. I love you. I love you. It’s taken me so long to call it love. You were the first I truly loved, and it hurts. It hurts to love you. So I have to let you go. Since I’m being honest, I’ll admit, I want to be with you more than I could possibly say. But still, it’s not what I want most. I wish it was; I wish I could be more selfish. But truly, it’s not in my nature. I love you. I have never wanted anything more than for you to be happy. I hope you find her; I hope she loves you as much as I do. I hope you love her with all of you, with every inch of yourself, of your heart… with every aspect of your soul. I hope you love her. I hope you love her like you never loved me.